Is your brother retarded?

That question was asked to my oldest son, 9 at the time, of his younger brother who has autism. In that particular elementary school in Florida, kids with autism were, literally, sequestered in a series of self-contained classrooms at the back of the school. Their only interaction with ‘regular’ students was in the large hallway, where they each held onto a rope like preschoolers (Robert was 8 at the time) and walked either to the cafeteria to have lunch alone or to the library. One girl at the back of the line was quite severely affected by her autism and tended to scream bloody murder the entire way. These were the interactions of “typical” kids with “autistic” kids in that school.

During a meeting with several Brevard county officials, I told the principal he was harming not only the kids with autism by preventing them entry into normal school activities, but he was also hurting the ‘typical’ kids. They were receiving the wrong message about what autism is and they were forming harmful and hurtful opinions of people who are different.

The reception I got from him was typical, old school non-sense and nothing really changed that year. Luckily, he retired and the new principal was a former district inclusion specialist. If only all stories had such a happy ending.

My son’s answer to his classmate was, “No, my brother is not retarded, he is autistic.”  Autism does not constitute mental retardation. I’ll pause here to insert something I found helpful on wikipedia:

The term “mental retardation” has itself now acquired some pejorative and shameful connotations over the last few decades due to the use of “retarded” as an insult among younger people. This may in turn have contributed to its replacement with expressions such as “mentally challenged” or “intellectual disability”.

I don’t like the word “retarded” and I don’t let my kids use it. In many places, it’s seen as harmless slang for ’stupid’ or ‘dumb’, but in my life as the mom of two children with autism, I find it’s most often used in a way I find offensive, both to my kids and to people who do have intellectual disabilities. And I was bitterly disappointed to hear that the new movie, Tropic Thunder, uses the phrase so many times and with such negative connotations that advocacy groups are calling for a boycott. Too bad, because I love Ben Stiller but I’m not going to put money in his pockets or anyone else’s on the backs of a group of people who have it hard enough as it is.

Update: After writing this post, I read several excerpts of reviews with people claiming that those who would protest this are wasting their time, etc. Here’s a few:

 “. . . the film’s repeated use of a slur against the mentally disabled has led to calls for a boycott of the film . . . by some who consider it to be hate speech. But the film’s real target is Hollywood and the tropes, stereotypes and clichés it uses to pander to the lowest common denominator, and which are applied here with the same intent but with tongue firmly planted in cheek.” — Duane Dudek, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.

You’re right, Duane and I’m sure all those actors and actresses in Hollywood are going to be really, really hurt because Ben, one of their own, made fun of them.

“Stiller isn’t making fun of those with mental retardation. He’s skewering an industry that honors actors who prove their seriousness by taking such roles.” — Daniel M. Kimmel, the Worcester (Mass.) Telegram & Gazette

See my comment above, Daniel.

“A coalition of disability-advocate groups is organizing a boycott of ‘Tropic Thunder’ based on what they see as the offensiveness of the ‘Simple Jack’ gags. . . . But comedy needs the right to be offensive, and Stiller at least has the courage of his convictions: When he uses the word ‘retard,’ it’s deliberate, not casual.” — Stephanie Zacharek, Salon.com

Let me paraphrase, Stephanie, “Thank goodness somebody in Hollywood still has the balls to use the word ‘retard’”.

If you have the stomach, you can read more at the LA Times. This is going to be a whole other blog post because now I’m pissed.

Back to autism and the mentally challenged. There is a sub-group of people with autism who are also mentally challenged. There is a sub-group of people with autism who are considered ‘geniuses’. There is a smaller sub-group of people with autism who are savants – they have a particular gift that is extraordinary but they may struggle with the most routine daily tasks. Not every mentally challenged person has autism and not every person with autism is mentally challenged.

It’s a simple message, but apparently one that has yet to reach most North American school districts and governments. I once sat in a room with my son Robert and a school psychologist who was attempting to test his IQ. Baffled, the psychologist told me that Robert was “functionally retarded.” Huh? Robert has learned to read and write, he has shown significant cognitive ability. How could this “professional” tell me that my son shouldn’t be in a certain kind of classroom or receive a certain kind of instruction because of his IQ? That experience informs my opinion on the proposed cut-off of services currently being floated by Premier Gordon Campbell’s liberal BC government. (If you haven’t signed the petition and are a BC resident, please consider it here.)

There are non-verbal people with autism who know WAY more than I do. They just may not be able to express it in words. I’m convinced my son knows a LOT and hope that with continued intervention, he’ll learn the words to tell me. But what I won’t allow is any school district or government entity to limit what he’s taught or exposed to because they don’t recognize his ability to learn and progress. And I hope that other parents of kids with autism and parents of kids who are mentally challenged and parents of kids who are geniuses and parents of kids with learning disabilities and parents of kids who are ‘typical’ will do the same.

Peace.